I'm really into asian looking animals
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
