But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize