do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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