Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize