I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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