Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
