somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
