oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize