I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
i think i just lost a toe
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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