Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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