They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
