So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
