1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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