they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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