remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
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