Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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