i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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