Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
