Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize