if you like me you must not know who I am
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize