Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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