I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
