it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
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