just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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