i think my tv is drunk
Soap is not a condiment
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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