I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
