Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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