My boss' voice literally gives me gas
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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