I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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