I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
