I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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