umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
