How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
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