Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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