You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
