It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
