Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize