I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
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This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
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Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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