Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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