u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize