Did you just see the Batmobile???
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
