but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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