last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
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Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
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i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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