is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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