Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
