I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Randomize
