he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
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she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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