I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
