Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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