drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize