this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
