seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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