I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
