my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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