The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
