This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
