im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
