I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Randomize
