trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.