everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.