Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
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There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
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Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.