Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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