i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
